Body Language

Body language is one of the strongest means of communicating one’s feelings, moods,

attitude, and personality. In fact more than 60% of the communication process comes from the

nonverbal cues which includes the body movements and speech volume, pitch, and pacing.

However, there are body gestures and movements generally considered as inappropriate and

rude. A proper body language has a right place and a right time. Most of us are usually

unaware of our actions. Thus, it is time to practice learning the acts of body language that

must be observed and avoiding the actions which may be offensive to other people.

During A Job Interview

A job interview is a very important step to be accomplished by any applicant. They key to

success to be hired for the vacant job does not only depend on the documents you passed.

Your employer would also give high regards for the way you move and act. Thus, it is

essential for any applicant to observe his body language when being interviewed.

One must avoid slouching, which indicates laziness and boredom. Do not tighten your body

muscle as well, for this will make you look stiff thus making you look nervous and lacking

confidence. Do not place your hands into your pockets as well; this reflects your anxiety

and discomfort. Lack of confidence is very well reflected in tapping of the foot, drumming

of the fingers, and fidgeting.

If You Want To Show Interest

Signs of interest includes eye contact, and one must be able to maintain it. It signifies

that the focus of your attention is on that person. Frequent nodding and leaning your body

towards that person also indicates that you are listening to him or her.

Generally Rude Body Language

There are many gestures that are regarded as rude by most people, or that you are avoiding

to interact with them. This includes crossing the arms across the chest, holding objects

such as books and a bag in front of you, inspecting the time on your watch or the clock,

stroking your chin, standing too close, staring or narrowing your eyes, forcing smiles,

placing the hand on the waist, slouching, touching your face frequently, blinking more than

usual, foot tapping, and many more. Most of these gestures are done unconsciously, but

nonetheless, the people who you are talking to may be offended by the said actions.

Posture And Body Movements

One who maintains a good posture is one who relaxes into the chair provided for him, yet his

back remains straight with his chin slightly held up and shoulder pulled back. Confidence is

also shown in eye contact and in a firm handshake. A poor posture is shown by slouching; it

usually means laziness or lack of interest.

If you have a posture that shows confidence, people will treat you differently. They will

treat you with more respect.

Be Conscious Of Your Actions

Be aware of how your body move or act. You might be already sending signals of rudeness even

during the moments you do not intend to do so. Make sure you maintain a good posture and

perform the proper gestures appropriate for the place and time. You might also as well

consider the cultural background of the person you are talking to, and adjust to their

acceptable behavior and body language.

Most men usually complains that women are difficult to read because women do not usually

tell how they really feel except when they are confronted. But did you know that women send

signals of body language five times stronger than men? You will see that the female body

language is easy to read.

How To Read The Female Body Language

The easiest way to read a woman is by finding signs of emotions. Do not just look for one

sign; look for a cluster of signals. For example, you cannot tell if a woman is into you by

an eye contact only. It must be accompanied with a smile, preening, and the like. That one

sign may have been a gesture she has gotten used to, so do not interpret it immediately.

Is She Flirting?

The most typical signal that a woman is flirting with you is preening. She would always like

to look her best for you. She would adjust her clothes, check her buttons, or smoothen her

skirt. She also plays with her hair, twirl her finger into a few strands, and even toss it

over her shoulder especially when she could show some bare skin.

If you are across the room from her, you will know that she is into you as well if she keeps

glancing over. The eye contact she makes is usually longer than usual and then would look

down with a flattered or embarrassed smile. Men usually loves that action.

Women also do a good job in catching their men’s attention with movements of their lips. A

strong lip flirting signal is when she would bite or lick her lips ever so slowly. It also

works when she would drink from a glass or eat in a slow motion manner. Make sure this is

done while she is looking at you, and not at  somebody else!

But the best sign of flirting is when she laughs at your jokes and touches you from time to

time. They even would pretend brushing past you accidentally to get that magic touch. Other

signs of flirting that she would show is crossing and uncrossing her legs, leaning and

whispering, dangling her high-heeled shoes at her toes, and always flashing a smile.

She’s Saying Yes

It is a definite signal of invitation when she keeps looking back at you. A smile would

strengthen the signal of attraction. You will know she is interested in your interaction if

she keeps that eye contact even if she’s playing with something with her hand, like her

drinking glass or her hair. There is a certain glow in a woman’s eyes and facial expression

when she likes a particular person. Another sign is when she would step closer to you or

touch you.

She’s Saying No

The strongest sign that a woman is annoyed, uninterested, and bothered by you is a fierce

look with the arms crossed. But there are women who are kind enough to be just civil,

especially during a blind date with the wrong guy. Observe her eyes. See if the glow is

there or if they are dull and inexpressive, even when she smiles (the smiles are usually

forced). And even of there is eye contact, but she keeps on breaking it and tries to look

around the room, she may be thinking of reasons to go home earlier than expected.

Female body language is not that difficult to read. If you know what a woman is thinking,

then you will know which step to do: to approach her or try your moves on somebody else.

The art of body language is that you can read other people by determining their feelings,

emotions, and subconscious state of mind. Each body gesture and movement have a particular

meaning depending on the event, place, and the people involved. Therefore, even without

words spoken, the body can thoroughly deliver a message to another person.

Look Into Their Eyes

The eyes can truly speak volumes. When you are lying, your eyes can betray you by sending a

signal of dishonesty. The eyes will reflect one’s honesty and sincerity if there is

maintenance of eye contact. You can tell if someone is lying through the eyes if he cannot

keep his eye on you and his blinking rate is increasing.

You can also tell if the person you are talking to is interested in what you are saying or

not. When he maintains eye contact with you, it means that he has his focus of attention to

your conversation. But, sometimes the case is different. Some people has practiced eye

contact, but deep inside they lack interest. Dull and passive eyes also indicates boredom.

Romance and flirtation can also be delivered through the eyes. When somebody would catch

your eye, he would look away. But if he looks back at you, it may mean that he is into you.

If he doesn’t look back, it means he found no chemistry from you.

Watch Their Hand Movements

One common hand gesture is the crossing of the arms over the chest. This may signify one’s

anger, doubt or suspicion, or defensiveness from a verbal attack from another person. It is

also one of the signs of lying and arrogance.

Another hand gesture is the hands-in-the-pocket gesture. This may have different

interpretations. The person may lack confidence or interest, or simply refusing to do a task

given to him. Another meaning if this gesture is that he may be nervous or anxious in the

current situation. He may also be hiding something from you.

Observe Their Posture

When a person slouches while sitting down or standing up, it may indicate laziness. But this

is not necessarily true, since he may have gotten used to that posture, but is not indeed

lazy.

However, the most preferred posture is where one would keep his back straight with chin

slightly up. This posture must be done without excessive tightening of the back muscles;

otherwise he would look definitely stiff and awkward. 

Obvious Signs Of Emotions

You can detect if a person is nervous if he finds it impossible to stay still. His body

gestures would include fidgeting, tapping the hand or foot, drumming his fingers, pacing

around the room back and forth, and trembling. Meanwhile frustration can be signified by a

clenched fist, arms crossed over the chest, and the hands on the waist.

Confidence and comfort is reflected from one’s good posture, maintenance of eye contact,

relaxed use of hand gestures and body movements. The opposite of these gestures means

otherwise – lack of confidence.

These signals from one’s body language does not necessarily reflect what the person truly

feels inside. His gestures may have been his mannerisms or simply actions that he has gotten

used to. Thus, it is relevant as well not to be very judgmental in interpreting one’s body

language.

There is an appropriate timing and place for every act of body language.  Most of the time,

we are oblivious to the messages we convey through our body gestures and movements. We could

give negative signals that might offend other people without intending to do so. There are

gestures that we indeed have to avoid, but it may require discipline and practice for the

very reason that we may have been used to performing this negative acts in our daily lives.

It is very important for one to be observant of his body language, and those of other people

as well. You can read other people by learning how to understand how they act and move. But

you must also be aware that there are people who know how to interpret body language, and

somebody may already be reading you now. Thus, be cautious of actions by knowing when to use

them and what to avoid.

At Work

It is always relevant to be in your best self at work. By doing so, you can impress your

boss and please clients. Simply be confident when facing somebody. If you are relaxed, other

people would not regard you as overconfident. Show them you truly know what you are talking

about by maintaining good posture, eye contact and using appropriate hand gestures.

During A Date

How can you give signs that you are indeed attracted to another person without telling them

verbally how you really feel? The solution is simple. Talk with your eyes and match it with

a bright smile. These two are enough to let somebody know you are indeed enjoying his or her

company.

You would know that the date is going well when signals of flirtation are present. A woman

would tend to touch her hair, lick her lips, eat or drink slowly, and preen. Meanwhile, a

man would usually wink, close the distance between them, lean forward, and stand tall.

Bottom line is both sexes want to impress their partner by showing the masculinity or

sexiness through actions. And these signs are indeed just the beginning of a higher level in

the relationship.

Acts You Must Practice To Avoid

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There are many kinds of gestures that you must practice to avoid. At work, try to hide your

anxiety or tension by avoiding fidgeting, trembling, or shaking. Avoid excessive hand

movements when talking, since this could distract others from focusing on your statements.

Avoid also excessive blinking; this shows you are are uneasy and nervous. Stop looking at

your watch or the clock. This is very rude since you are giving an impression that you want

to end the interaction right away.  Do not stroke you chin, lean on an elbow, and fake a

smile.

When on a date, it would be much more polite if you directly say “no” rather than showing

signals of rudeness to the person if you are uninterested or getting bored. Do not sigh,

look at other people other than your partner, slouch, and prop your head on your hands.

Observe Cultural Differences

The appropriate use of body language also depend on where you are and who you are

interacting with. You may be talking to somebody with a very conservative culture and

regards some gestures rude and disrespectful, even if they are normally used in your place.